i used to write poetry. i wrote this when i was 18, almost 8 years ago:
The waiter with translucent eyes
is glaring at me from behind
his pen and notepad.
I have made the mistake
of wearing leather
to a vegan restaurant.
I smile at him, and offer my order as a truce.
“Marinated tofu sandwich,
mashed potatoes with brown rice gravy,
Soymilk latte”
He sees only the dead flesh on my arms
and rolls his eyes.
“Hypocrite.”
Twenty minutes later, I have filled myself
with soy and forgotten to leave a tip.
jgh:
POLL FOR MAH TUMBLR GIRLZ:
Have you ever noticed that “older guys”, as a general rule, tend to love your body a whole lot more?
I have found that older men tend to have more realistic expectations of what women’s bodies due to actual real experience. A younger guy who has only had some hookups or who mostly knows about sex b/c of porn may not be clued into what women’s bodies actually look like when they don’t go through the massive amount of grooming that porn stars, celebs, etc do.
You just never get to see that because what’s represented is so cleaned up. I meant to write about this before, after Pride weekend when I saw the live fisting demo at Leather Alley and it was two big women who were not at all the usual blonde, thin, heterosexual dude fantasy of lesbianism and it was refreshing to see ACTUAL people having ACTUAL sex. Or you know, fisting in front of a bunch of gawking straight people. BUT STILL. The point is: you don’t have to be hot to do it.
Back to JGH’s question… I’ve never encountered anyone who’s actually made negative comments about my body to my face. To the contrary, my dudes tend to be much more comfortable with my body than I am. Men will find a way to fetishize anything, so I don’t worry about it too much.
The fact that a Chelsea Handler quote is getting re-blogged like 500 times today is REALLY irritating me.
in other words, TWITTER GET IT TOGETHER. I NEED YOU.
i’m also tired of my craigslist ads getting flagged within 10 minutes of posting when they are completely legitimate. man, i remember the glory days of craigslist when every single ad wasn’t flagged into oblivion and wasn’t a western union scam. when you could actually find a part time job or get an apartment without having to submit a cavity search or you know, find people to date that weren’t total losers.
man, this weekend was so weird. friday was very peaceful: dinner w/ the housemates followed by dark knight at kabuki and a nice walk home at 1am. when i got home, i had a weird gchat conversation with ZL before passing out, sleeping through the whole morning and ending up at Zine Fest for rest of the afternoon. i loved zines when i was a teenager but pretty much abandoned it when i discovered web sites because i loved the immediacy of publishing immediately. anyway, it was cool to see so many people still believe in it. i ran into a friend of my ex boyfriend’s who was surprisingly very friendly and didn’t avoid talking to me. i also saw a dude i had an extremely awkward CL date with who DID NOT talk to me.
after that, was megan’s party which was fun and wonderful except for the parts that i won’t tell you about, but whatever, drunken regret is for 18 year olds in college who swear they will never drink again until the next friday night rolls around. i got home that night emotionally and physically spent and totally crashed around 3, after debating putting up a melodramatic tumblr post. i’m very glad i didn’t.
this morning: hungover, iced coffee & sunglasses & walk around panhandle. discover a wonderful loaf of sourdough focaccia in my kitchen and spend all day in bed, reading. take a nap filled with inappropriate dreams, now debating super late dinner and cuddling up with my pandora “come down” station. sunday.
Today was one of those mornings I should have woken up and instantly felt a wave of severe regret come over me as I realized what I said (I don’t forget much). Strangely, I wake up kind of invigorated and without an ounce of remorse. I was being 100% honest with myself and with others and going after what I wanted (which I didn’t get) and that was fine, you know?
